REAL NEWS for Thinking FOLKS

"Slavery Is Sacred Now (Just Not the American Kind)"

Pull up a chair, Texas—because I just read your new school curriculum and I have questions. Specifically: how do you make the Bible required reading and slavery optional in the same week, with a straight face?

6/27/20262 min read

So let me get this straight, Texas.

This week your State Board of Education looked at 5 million public school kids and said: "You know what these children need? More Bible." Required reading. Adam and Eve. David and Goliath. The Sermon on the Mount.

Cool. Beautiful. Inspiring. But—and stay with me here—you're keeping the whole book, right? Because the same Good Book you want kids memorizing is also an absolute buffet of rape, incest, polygamy, and slavery. Not hinted at. Not subtext. Spelled out. Endorsed. With rules. With pricing. There are literal HR policies for owning people in there.

So what's the lesson plan, Texas? "Today, children, the Golden Rule—and tomorrow, Leviticus explains the going rate for a human being." You taking the whole thing? Or just the felt-board Jesus and the parts that fit on a coffee mug?

Now—real quick—walk down the hall. Same week. Same board. Same red-faced gentlemen in cowboy hats. And in History class they just voted to take slavery out.

Gone: slavery as the central cause of the Civil War. (The war was about, uh… etiquette? States' rights to do unspecified things?)
Gone: that people were enslaved "because of the color of their skin." (Wild coincidence, apparently. Just vibes.)
Gone: slave revolts. Trimmed: Jim Crow.

So let's recap the Texas curriculum, folks:

Bible slavery? Sacred. Required. Memorize it for the quiz.
American slavery? Too spicy. Too sad. Paint over it. Never happened.

In one classroom slavery is the literal word of God. Forty feet down the hall it's a typo they're trying to delete before anyone notices. The slavery in the book stays. The slavery that actually happened here gets the white paint roller.

That's not a mix-up. That's not a clerical error from the same geniuses who, by the way, had to spend $8.4 MILLION fixing 4,200 mistakes in this curriculum—imagine being that confidently wrong and still in charge of what kids learn. No, this is the entire plan. Indoctrinate with one book, erase the country's actual history with the other, and call it "education."

Overly religious. Aggressively under-educated. Cowboy-hat cosplay for grown men who couldn't pass the very history class they're rewriting. A right-wing cult so committed to "protecting the children" they made felony-grade Bronze Age content required reading—while a guy they worship dodges accountability and they cheer.

Good job, Texas. Truly. Gold star. 🌟

Honestly? Maybe it's time. Let you have your own little country. Your own flag (it's already a hat). Your own textbooks where the Civil War was a brunch disagreement. And we'll chip in for the wall—not to keep anyone out. Just to keep that in.

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