MARGE DISCOVERS THE CULT.... AFTER HELPING BUILD IT
Marjorie Taylor Greene has apparently discovered that MAGA is a cult.... which is a little like the guy who built Frankenstein suddenly complaining about the monster. The truth is, Marge may finally be saying some things worth hearing, but that doesn’t magically erase the years she spent helping build, feed, defend, and decorate the crazy.
10/1/20263 min read
Former Trump-pet and body barnacle Marjorie Taylor Greene has somehow reinvented herself as a courageous truth-teller, and now some liberals are actually praising her for finally saying out loud what the rest of us have been screaming into pillows for years. Apparently the political redemption process now works like a car wash: drive in covered with six years of MAGA mud, say “Trump is bad” three times, and come out the other side smelling like democracy.
Except.... this is still Marjorie Taylor Greene.
The same MTG who, under oath, suddenly developed one of the most remarkable cases of political amnesia ever recorded and “couldn’t recall” posting a video bragging about efforts surrounding January 6. The same MTG who was reported in January 6 committee testimony as seeking a pardon after the Capitol attack. And remember her little 2022 comedy routine when she joked that if she and Steve Bannon had organized January 6, “we would have won” and “would’ve been armed”? Nothing screams “responsible public servant” quite like having to explain afterward that your armed-insurrection joke was JUST A JOKE, PEOPLE.
This is also the same Marjorie Taylor Greene who chased Parkland survivor David Hogg down the street demanding answers from him as if the kid had personally misplaced her luggage. She was an adult woman and member of the gun-rights movement confronting a teenager who survived a school shooting. Classy stuff.
Then there was her helicopter contest to shoot wild hogs, complete with comparisons between the hogs and Democrats, because apparently regular political advertising had become too boring and what America really needed was “Deliverance: The Congressional Campaign Edition.”
And who could possibly forget the Hunter Biden era? Marjorie became so fascinated with Hunter Biden that she started dragging giant explicit photographs of him into congressional hearings. I dare to say one of the first times a giant Dick pic has been ex displayed in a congressional committee hearing...except for the time Richard Nixon's photo was displayed.
Other members brought charts, testimony, bank records and documents. Marjorie apparently showed up like she had just cleaned out the adult section of a 1997 video store. I still imagine the employees at the nearest Kinko’s seeing one of her staffers walk in carrying a thumb drive and yelling, “OH NO ----DAMMIT, BILL.... YOU TAKE THIS ONE.”
Now she’s out there announcing that “MAGA is dead,” warning people about blind loyalty to Trump and saying Republicans who refuse to hold him accountable are “liars,” “hypocrites” and “in a cult.”
MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE is warning America about the MAGA cult.
That’s like Keith Richards staging an intervention because somebody had a second beer.
It’s like Dracula giving a seminar on neck safety.
It’s like Colonel Sanders announcing that fried food might not be good for you.
Well.... You get the idea....
Marge.... WE KNOW.
Some of us have been standing outside the building for years yelling, “THAT IS A CULT,” while you were inside selling T-shirts in the gift shop.
And now comes the self-victimization chapter. Greene talks about her fights with Daddy Trump, being yelled at in the Oval Office and eventually becoming one of his favorite punching bags. Apparently, spending years feeding the tiger was terrific fun right up until the tiger looked across the room and thought, “You know what? Marjorie looks delicious.”.... Now that I think about it, I don't think that thought has ever crossed any animal's mind in the wild kingdom.
I can have sympathy for anyone receiving genuine threats. Nobody’s family should be threatened over politics. I know that one personally. 247 demands that I be fired because of my attacks on Israel. But politically, it is difficult to watch someone spend years helping build a monster and then demand applause for noticing that the monster has teeth.
And let us not forget the Jewish space-laser episode. Greene later insisted she had no antisemitic beliefs and even joked about the controversy in her book. Apparently when your political baggage becomes too heavy, you don’t unpack it anymore.... you put wheels on it and call it a memoir.
This doesn’t mean Greene can never tell the truth. Of course she can. A broken clock is right twice a day. But when the broken clock finally says 3:00 and it actually IS 3:00, nobody says, “MY GOD.... GET THIS CLOCK A CABINET POSITION.”
That’s where I am with Marjorie Taylor Greene.
If she tells the truth about Trump, fine. Listen to the truth.
But I’m not throwing her a parade because she finally discovered the fire after spending years running around with the gasoline can.
She helped build MAGA. She defended it. She promoted it. She wore the merchandise. She attacked its critics. She helped make the casserole, brought the casserole to the church picnic, ate three plates of the casserole.... and now she’s standing over the empty dish saying:
“You know.... I’m starting to think there was something wrong with that casserole.”
YES, MARGE.
THAT IS WHAT WE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU.
So welcome to reality. Grab a chair.
But don’t expect us to pretend we don’t remember who helped decorate the room we just escaped from.
